Part of Lourdes' past is the reality and horror of her rape. In the beginning section of the novel we are told the story of her rape, and at the end of the novel we learn that much of her pain is lodged in the fear that what happened to her doesn't matter, that no one cares.
Pg. 227. What she fears most is this: that her rape, her baby's death were absorbed quietly by the earth, that they are ultimately no more meaningful than falling leaves on an autumn day. She hungers for a violence of nature, terrible and permanent, to record the evil. Nothing less would satisfy her.
After finishing the book, this passage stuck with me. Lourdes' fear is completely reasonable. It is a scary thought to consider all the pain that goes unnoticed, all the deaths that are not grieved for, and the lives that are not properly celebrated. Reading this passage made me think about all the people I pass by in a given day whose pain I do not know, who may be dealing with inner struggles and turmoil that is tearing them apart.
It is astounding to consider the burdens that each of us carry, and sobering to think about all who think they must carry their burdens alone. Our past is part of who we are, but the beautiful thing is that the people in our lives can heal us and help us take on our burdens. In the end I think returning to Cuba may have helped Lourdes heal some of the wounds of her past. Though she still wanted to return to America, she gained a certain strength from revisiting the places that haunt her.
Mandy, I like how you point out how our past is part of our present and how in the book, that also changed a little based on where she was. I have a similar experience. When I lived in the DR, I was robbed at gunpoint. It was one of the scariest experiences of my life. I can still replay that moment in my head, seeing the two men riding towards us on their motor cycle, my friend trying to defend me, the man feeling my pockets... When I returned to the Dominican over spring break, this memory came back, especially when I went down that same road. I feel as though this experience made me more aware of my surroundings and yes sometimes more scared at the same time.
ReplyDeleteThinking about the burdens we each carry is difficult. But at the same time, there is a comfort in knowing that everyone has something from their past that is still a big part of their life. I think that past experiences are sometimes painful. But, I hope that at some point, we can all learn from them and it becomes less of a burden and more of an experience we can learn from later in life.
Wow, Krista, this is a powerful personal identification with Lourdes' return trip to Cuba. I've heard you say how much you love the Dominican Republic, so it's especially interesting to hear you say that it is also a place where you had a terrifying experience. Your response to Mandy's post suggests that part of life is helping us to absorb and reconciles these contradictory things in life, and to develop resiliency as we process them. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteMandy, your post does an excellent job of bringing together the seemingly contradictory aspects of Lourdes--her powerhouse strength as an adult, but her vulnerability and suffering as a daughter and later as the victim of political violence. This goes a long way in making her a more sympathetic character.
Mandy,
ReplyDeleteI thought your post was lovely. When I was sitting in Mass a few short hours ago Father Chris expounded on the Gospel taken from John 12:20-33 in which Our Lord raises Lazarus from the dead. In this Gospel everyone around Lazarus' family is weeping for him and for each other. And what you said about individuals not knowing about each other's sorrows stood out to me because I feel like Lazarus, individuals who carry their sorrows appear dead to a community of believers, so it should be the community's job to be like Jesus to call forth people to new life... to aid individuals in coming to God, being that guiding hand in the darkness of this journey on Earth.
It should be our duty to make sure hurt and sorrow is addressed; to decry injustices, but to always make sure we keep Our Lord at the center, for only he can heal us of our sorrows. But though coming to the Light by going through the darkness is the ultimate goal, we shouldn't forget to lift each other up as a community and aid each other where we need help.
Again, what a magnificent reminder that sometimes sorrows are never spoken of, and that we all need to be the healers in our community to others.
What a great insight you give us with Lourdes. The concept of code-switching—which we talked about a bit in relation to our latino poets—is clearly applicable not only to language, but to entire personalities as well. The passage you chose to highlight also exemplifies the duality of our lives. As you say, it is difficult to imagine ourselves being so unimportant. And yet, the very thing Lourdes fears is quite a beautifully poetic image; falling leaves on an autumn day have been the subject of many a poem, and indeed, it reminds me of the extremely stylized Japanese Nō theater, which takes poetic images from nature, often tying them to the very thing Lourdes fears, or temporary nature.
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